As we embark into toddler-hood, I find that it has both new joys (she talks! she understands! she gives hugs and kisses!) and new challenges. One of those challenges was quite apparent after I put her to bed last night. I was just plain tired. Why? Because my girl goes 100mph with no brakes (or breaks... like that play on words?) every.waking.moment. I am thankful that she is happy and content to play alone and entertain herself, meaning I can usually do things like cook dinner (interrupted 78 times as I check on what she's into, pull her out of the closet with the dog food, etc) while she plays.
Last night, I did a little tour of the house after said cooking-and-playing time, and found messes. Lots of them. Every tupperware and lid pulled out of the cabinet onto the kitchen floor. All the baskets removed from the entryway bench, contents dumped and strewn down the hallway. Half of the DVDs flung out of the case. Toys and books in a mountain around the toy box.
Of course this isn't just limited to times I'm not directly playing with her... as we play together, her favorite thing is to pull all her books down or empty her pants drawer, handing me the contents one by one.
These aren't really "discipline for being bad" issues, since she is not being defiant. It seems more like a teaching boundaries issue, which I certainly want to impose and enforce in age-appropriate ways.
So my question for you seasoned moms is this:
Where is the line between setting limits and allowing freedom to explore? And how does that change with age?
A lot of what she is doing really is part of a learning process (when she pulls out all of the tupperwares, she spends lots of time sorting, stacking, finding lids that fit, etc.), so I want to encourage her to be curious and learn about her little environment. She is also too young to REALLY clean up after herself (I do have her "help" me, which involves moving her hand toward the basket while she's holding a toy...), so any exploration is at the expense of mom cleaning it up.
I don't want her to grow up thinking she can go on terrors throughout the house, so I'm certain that part of the boundaries-teaching needs to happen now.
I also know that kids are just messy, and don't want to have unrealistic or unhealthy expectations of how orderly she ought to be. I want her to be a kid.
Thoughts? Advice? I know anyone with children over the age of 12 months has dealt with this, so I'd love to hear ANY wisdom you have on it. Comments PLEASE!
~ Already-tired-of-picking-up-toys-and-she's-only-One...
Oh..just have another baby and double your fun:)
ReplyDeletewe have the same issue. i basically just let david have at anything that's his. books, toys, and we have a tupperware cabinet just for him. and i clean up once a day (which means that right now my kitchen floor has tupperware, a deodorant stick, toys, and a pair of sunglasses on it).
ReplyDeletei never really considered discipline repercussions...(maybe because we have worse discipline issues?? david still throws a tantrum EVERY time i say no...and lots of other times, too).
let me know if you come up with any good solutions. today david was playing quietly in his room. when i went to check on him, i found out he'd "sorted" his dirty diapers. awesome. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!
I have no idea how to draw boundaries. I think I spend 90% of my day picking stuff up and putting it back. Luke isn't necessarily "high energy" but the kid is into something, all day everyday. He may not talk, but his mind goes a mile a minute as he figures out how to open the baby locks. (seriously- who does that?!) I've tried to give him boundaries in each room. In the kitchen, there's one cabinet (the plastics/tupperwares) without safety locks for him to tear up. I also baby gate him into the room when I'm cooking/doing dishes. When we're in the den, I cage us in there. same in his room. I've also been pretty consistent (or tried to be) with certain things in every room-- doors, radiators, tubs-- they all get a huge "NO!"
ReplyDeleteGOOD LUCK! we're all in the same boat sister
Of course you'll just have to figure out what works for you guys ... but something that we started doing with E at that age is teaching that certain things were "hands off" (accompanied by a ridiculous hands-in-the-air gesture for effect). We didn't start disciplining her for it until we realized that she understood hands off, and touched things anyway. Our discipline was (and still is) a hefty flick on the knuckles. So, books on the shelf, things on side tables, the tablecloth, etc were always "hands off" ... required some rearranging but not too overwhelming. Oh, dog things too - food and water - were hands off too, but then again Salem isn't as baby friendly as Aslan, so you've got more flexibility with him :)
ReplyDeleteOne bit more - and this is still our rule - put one thing (or one area) away before moving onto another play area. It takes up a lot of time, but I think it's worth it. It's kinda the mindset of teaching-now-to-make-less-work-later. We started wtih singing the clean up song (or make up something silly) and after a while we'd just start singing and she'd figure it out and start cleaning up.
You can do it!
I feel your pain sista! I feel like with this age its a hard balance and every mom has to find her rhythm. I like what Katherine said about just figuring out what works for you guys. For Jayden I have decided that there are certain messes that I don't want to deal with (different for every mom). As a result many items are out of her reach or behind closed/baby locked doors for now. In the main areas of the house there are still many cupboards/shelves that she can get into and explore, but it has helped me where I don't feel like all I say is "no". The other area is food. For a while I wasn't sure if she should be allowed to explore all food and let her make a nasty mess or if I should feed her...so I picked the middle. Some foods its ok and some its not. I guess I've learned that I like being on neither extreme and a little of both works for me. The nice thing is that you can pick what you want to deal with and what drives you crazy.....I think that's where boundaries come in and look different for any family. You are doing such a fantastic job with Addie, she is such a delight to be around...keep up the good work!!!
ReplyDelete