William Justice is here!!

The not blogging thing.  I know.

I basically went a whole pregnancy not writing, and I admit, I miss it. And I'm a little sad not to have documented 

I am part of a couple of "group blogs" where friends blog and share with each other, so that has been my outlet, to the downfall of the White Pages.

But now that our William is here, I may have to revive this little spot, so that at least monthly I can share what's going on in our little guy's life just like I did with big sister. 

So where better to start than a little drama, action, and a happy ending?  Plus I already had this written down last weekend, so it's a nice easy start for me.

(Skip this post if you hate reading, because it's LONG.  End of story: we have a beautiful, healthy baby. Here's the proof:

My prayer all along for labor and delivery was first of course, safety for Will and me, but also that I wouldn't go 15 days overdue like with big sister, and that I would go into labor spontaneously rather than be induced.

At 39.5 weeks, I was showing basically no signs.  I tried not to be discouraged, but definitely wondered if I was in for the long-haul again. 

Due date came and went, and besides a couple of false starts, nothing was happening.

Monday, March 24, I had some more strong contractions, but I thought it'd be another fake-out.  Still, after I put Addie to bed I headed out for a walk with Aslan to see if they would continue.  They definitely did, and over the next 8 hours I started timing them and they decreased little by little to the "5-1-1" rule that says it's time to go into the hospital.  I called the hospital at 3am and told them we would be coming soon, but that I was going to lie down for a bit to see if I could rest a little since I hadn't slept at all.  To my dismay, as soon as I lay down, they started to space back out... until some were as far apart as 20 minutes.  I couldn't believe it.  By 6 am I was so discouraged, having only slept about 20 minutes and so sad that it seemed I had put in 8 hours of "work" only to end in nothing. 

Contractions kept coming though, some closer and some farther apart - definitely irregular.  They intensified when I would walk, but spread out when I sat or lay down.  Danny made the call to stay home from work and we both took Addie to drop her off at Mom's Morning Out.  I saw my friend Megan there, who took one look at me and told me to go to the hospital.  Danny was also starting to lean that way, but I was adamant against it.  I did not want to go out there just to be sent home.  At noon Danny went to pick up Addie, came back with lunch, and commanded me to eat it as fast as I could, we were going to the hospital right away.  I wasn't happy about it, but obliged just to appease him.  My parents stayed with Addie and we headed out the door with our bags, me crying - sad to leave Addie if this did become "it", exhausted from no sleep, and emotional over the disappointment I felt that things weren't progressing the way the books say they should.

Danny laughed at me later, because walking into the hospital I had two contractions that I had to brace myself on the wall for, and on the second I was still saying "They're just.... going.... to send us.... home!" 

We got into triage and they set me up on the monitors.  Since I was lying down, the contractions were a bit farther apart, but on the first two I had (one was 4 minutes long!), William was having significant decelerations in his heart rate.  The nurses came in, put me in a couple of different positions, and said I had just earned my ticket to stay.  Baby's heart rate was a scare factor in Addie's birth, and is definitely an anxiety trigger for me now.  I was sooo thankful for Danny's intuition to go in, as I probably would've stayed home for who knows how long, not knowing it was potentially harmful for Will.

We got checked in to our actual room, and saw my midwife (another amazing part of God's provision and timing... the same midwife that delivered Addie and the one I really really prefer, was the one delivering that day!). Will's heart rate seemed to stabilize through the following contractions - he wasn't dipping every time, which was good, but still having issues.  We talked through all the scenarios, and knew we should probably get things moving more quickly than nature was, especially if these contractions were hard on Will.  After hearing the options, I elected to have her break my water at about 5pm; 22 hours into labor. I was hoping for a natural delivery, so we decided against Pitocin (which I had to have when induced with Addie), knowing we may have to turn to that if things didn't progress.

Right away things intensified, and contractions became more regular.  I had to spend a while hooked up could continue to monitor Will, but eventually when he seemed to be doing well, they let me get up and move around to try some different ways of coping with the pain.

Throughout it all, Danny was amazing.  He was running around doing whatever I asked.  At one point I remember telling him - "JUST MOVE MY ARMS IN CIRCLES!  IN CIRCLES!"  Hahaha I have no idea why... it's just what I wanted at the moment.  So I'm sure he felt crazy but he cranked my arms in circles.  He stood and ran around the entire time, and I know that while in different ways, the whole process was also really exhausting for him. 

At around 7:30pm or so, my midwife checked me again.  I was only 5 centimeters.  Oh my... the let down.  I was in soo much pain, the contractions were coming what seemed like constantly, and I was completely exhausted.  Over 24 hours, and only 5 cm??  As clearly as I could, I thought it over, and decided to ask for the epidural.  Not in my plan, but neither was 24 hours of labor.  I guessed we had at least 6 hours ahead of us, and I was going to need some rest if I was going to make it.  I remember apologizing to Danny, to my midwife, to everyone.. I felt like a failure - not for asking for the medicine, but because I felt like I couldn't progress properly.  They called the anesthesiologist at about 7:45pm, but because it was nighttime, she had 1 hour to get to the hospital.  (Does that sound crazy?!?!  I think it's crazy.  What if someone has an emergency C-section?!)  I couldn't imagine enduring even one more minute, let alone an hour.

Suddenly, I was screaming through each contraction, and involuntarily pushing.  I couldn't help it, it was just happening.  At about 8:15, I finally screamed "I CAN'T DO THIS!!!" and my midwife looked at her student (who had been with her the whole time) and back at me, and said, "Let's just check you one more time."  She did, and said, "OK, the epidural is not going to arrive on time.  You're 9.5 centimeters - you're going to have this baby RIGHT NOW!"  I could NOT believe it.  I probably asked her 20 times if she was sure, if she needed to check again, if she was positive she wasn't wrong.  I remember her laughing and saying "I'm usually not wrong about this."  I went from 5 to nearly 10 in less than 45 minutes!!  It was like God knew how much I could handle, and said "OK, Meredith - let Me take it from here."  On went the lights, in came the nurses, etc.  Danny and I were both in shock I think, but the contractions were still excruciating and I was pushing on each one, so it's not like I was celebrating or anything.

I pushed through probably 5 or 6 contractions, Danny and I can't remember exactly.  Then, as I was hoping we had reached the end, Will's heart rate took a major dip.  I could hear the monitor's beeps getting slower and slower, and my drill sergeant midwife starting yelling at me like a really fired-up coach.  "Give it all you've got Meredith!!!  ALL!  Come ooooon!!"  I have never exerted so much effort!!  I was screaming like an animal on each one.  I could tell that Will was stuck - he had moved down really quickly but now we were at a standstill.  I don't really remember it, but my midwife later said that she and her student were doing some pretty crazy manipulations to try and get him out.  One final HUGE scream from me (and some more effort because his shoulder got stuck) and he was totally out at 8:44pm.  I was crying so hard and asked over and over, "Is he OK?  Is he OK??"

He was. :)

I held him right away for a bit, but had to call in the pediatrician quickly because they knew he had passed some meconium and he needed to be cleared out.  I later learned he was coming out a little bit crooked, and also his arm was up by his chin, which was why he got stuck and why his shoulder got stuck, too. She told me the name of it when that happens, but I can't remember.  She said it's considered an obstetric emergency, and could've been very serious.  His heart rate was at a dangerously low rate for about 1 minute because he was basically strangling himself.  Three minutes starts to cause long-term damage to baby, so we weren't that close, but... close enough for all of our comfort.  Again, just like in Addie's birth, God completely protected us from what could've been a serious complication. 

So, it was absolutely nothing I expected... I had in mind that second babies came fast, which he totally didn't... but then again he totally did.  I never imagined I would be in labor for 26 hours, but also never imagined that active labor would last less than 4 hours, or that I'd progress at such a train-outta-control rate after reaching 5 cm.  It was all such a huge rush, especially pushing at the end.  I am so thankful for the amazing team that delivered him so skillfully, for hospitals and modern medicine that literally saves babies' and moms' lives every day just by delivering with the modern knowledge we have, and for my amazing Danny, who I could not have done it without!!  And of course, for William, our beautiful baby that we prayed and cried and longed for.  God is amazing!! 

my parents came at like, 11pm. :)

Addie visiting the next morning.  she kept saying "baby Will! I love you baby Will! Do you want to go down the slide with me on my lap? Can I hold him?" over and over.

This is an amazing massage therapist that works with all moms who deliver at our hospital. Addison now also knows her magic!

first family portrait.